Struggle Bus Day

I’m not sure why I’m so wiped out today. But I’m so wiped out today.

I see my therapist tomorrow and I’m both excited and nervous. Excited because I’ve had a few epiphanies I had this week and nervous because I’m afraid of confronting the guilt and shame issues that came up this week.

Not going to lie, I wish I see him more often but then that would mean I’ll be dependent on him and not learn to deal with things myself. That said, I feel guilty towards the few friends that I do have because all I can talk about sometimes is my mental health. So I have withdrawn a great deal from these people because I feel like I’m not good company to be around. With my therapist, I can speak freely because that is the whole reason I see him. He’s not going to judge me for going in every week to talk about the negative things that have happened.

Anyway, either my medication is wearing off or I’m just on the struggle bus today but I cannot focus. My classmates are heightening my anxiety – maybe because it’s speech day today in speech class and everyone is on edge. No one can stop talking since class began. Sigh….

I need this day to be over.

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