Beginning a New Decade of Life

Today is my final day in my 20’s.

I have to say that it’s a very bittersweet feeling because it’s the end of a huge chapter on my life.

I feel like it’s almost fitting for me to being my 30’s in a more stable emotional state than when I began my 20’s.

I’ve done a lot and experienced a lot. Reflecting back on my decade of being 20, I think that I’ve come a long way in discovering myself. I don’t think I’ve got everything figured out yet, I don’t think I will. But, I know now what I like and don’t like, how my ADHD can complement my diverse interests, how important mental health is, corrected a lot of misconceptions I’ve held and just generally grew as a person.

I’d like to think that I’m more mature now than I’ve ever been. I’d like to think that despite a lot of negative experiences this past decade, that I’ve learned a great deal. I hope to not repeat some of the painful mistakes I’ve made and continue to grow gracefully.

So, here’s to another new chapter in my life; a new decade and hopefully more adventures! I hope I’ll always remember that my story isn’t over yet and that I need to keep going.

((On an exciting side note, 3 other people and I sat down today and talked about setting up a new club on campus. I came up with the idea that non-traditional students need support and that there isn’t any emotional or friendship support for older students. So with that in mind, I wanted to organize a small get-together so that older students like me can feel like they’re not alone and that they can make friends.

One of the friends I sat down with today was one of the only friends I’ve made last semester because he and I were like minded. When I told him of my idea, he thought it was a “genius idea” and persuaded me to make it into an official club. I was reluctant at first because running a club is a huge responsibility and with my mental state, I didn’t know if I could handle it. But he was very good at persuading me so today we sat down together to talk more about it.

I have to say, after we did, I was very thankful that he had convinced me to say yes to setting up a club. After the meeting, I realized that I didn’t have to do this alone and that with the support of these 3 other friends, I hope that the club will flourish! We already have a list of events planned ranging from orientation for older students to study skills seminars and fun hangout sessions (I hope that we can maybe even go paintballing, whoo!).

So, yeah, now that my weekend’s over and I’m back in school, my week is looking like it’ll go up again.))

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6 thoughts on “Beginning a New Decade of Life

  1. Happy birthday! I have to say, the 30s are an awesome time. In some way, it’s when you are “really” grown-up. You know yourself better. You can navigate the world as an adult; you understand how things work. You are more settled in some direction, maybe building a career or shifting to a career you’ll really love or finding a partner or whatever it is. You have a confidence and wisdom you didn’t have at 20. But you are still young and don’t have the beginnings of the aches of middle age yet.

    I hope it’s the start of a decade of exploration and personal growth and happiness for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • JL says:

      Thanks so much, Q. It’s funny but it seems like everyone has the same thought about this. Everyone said the same things you did! They also said that I also have the advantage of looking like I’m 20. Haha… I told them it’s my Asian blood…. Anyway, thanks again. I’m actually more positive about being 30 than I was before because I realize that everyone’s right. I’ve been stressing out about being “old” that I didn’t realize all the things you’ve said!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Believe me, as someone well past 30, I look at photos of myself at 30 and think, “Wow, I was so young and looked good; why didn’t I realize it more at the time?” So take my experience and appreciate it in the moment, rather than waiting to look back on it.

        Liked by 1 person

      • JL says:

        Thanks Q. I’m starting to realize that I’ve been looking behind me too much and looking at my feet this while time. I haven’t been looking up, at myself or ahead of me. It’s so easy to get lost in all that.

        Btw, I took your advice and asked S about the email and our boundaries. I sometimes feel like S let’s me get away with things. It makes me feel special of course but I agree with you in that we need boundaries too in order to not misunderstand or get hurt. The last time we didn’t set boundaries with me going over time during sessions, I was so distressed by it because I felt bad. Since then though, things have been so much better because we actually communicated. So I brought it up today but unfortunately at the end of the session so we didn’t have enough time to hash it out. He told me that he he didn’t feel like I should email him, he wouldn’t have e-mailed me back all those time. He did say that he doesn’t want me to rely on emails because he can’t always get back to me in time especially the time when I had e-mailed him telling him I felt like cutting again. He also asked me why I do it and whether I feel that its important for me to keep contact with him outside of therapy. He said that it’s hard for me to say yes or no definitely because he doesn’t know where I’m coming from with this question. I told him that I didn’t know why. But only that I feel like I need to. He told me to think about it and that he wants us to start with it next session. He said that maybe I need to email him sometime this week and while I’m doing that, think about why I’m emailing him. Anyway, thanks for the suggestion to bring this up nil trying to be more open with S and better model good communication.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Good for you! What a healthy thing to do. Did it feel hard to bring it up? I felt embarrassed when I first raised it with E because I am reluctant to show my neediness. But naturally she was great about it, so I feel more confident if I have to ask her about something similar again.

        Liked by 1 person

      • JL says:

        It’s thanks to your suggestion and encouragement! It wasn’t hard to bring up per se. I said to him, “I have a couple of questions to you…” but after I said that, I was like, “Oh shit. Do I really want to say this?” and I started off strong by making eye contact and everything but by the time I said to him, “You know we haven’t really established any boundaries with that… And I was rude for assuming that it was okay to email you without asking… And….” my voice was getting softer and softer and I realize that I couldn’t look at him in the eyes anymore. I kept looking away. I didn’t feel embarrassed then but I know that I probably was feeling it deep down – I still can’t show my emotions, or feel it for myself. I feel the same as you and I mentioned that, “I don’t want to bother you because I realize you must be very busy and I don’t want to be needy…” and the words all just tumbled out. It was then that he asked me why it was important to me to contact him and what it is that I need. Then I couldn’t continue – I think that’s why I kept saying I don’t know over and over. But it was great to bring it up. Now I don’t feel that extreme feeling that I always get after every session of “I need to talk to him again urgently!” kind of feeling.

        Like

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