I saw my psychiatrist today for our regular follow-up meetings. As I waited for her, I contemplated out soon-to-happen session.
I had a dilemma because I didn’t really want to be totally honest with her about the last few weeks as I knew that she had been wanting to put me on anti depressants and anti anxiety meds. Though I have no problems with psychiatric medication because I know it doesn’t help people, I also have reservations about taking them.
I’m very sensitive to caffeine, sugar and alcohol as well as stimulants and drugs. I didn’t want to begin any medication regiments that could make things worse for me because I remembered how the Adderall had affected me quite adversely.
Dr W has also been concerned with my mood for the past couple of months. Two months ago, when I saw her, she had suggested anti depression meds to help. I had been resistant to that. Today, she had said, “You know… I know you have concerns but we’ve been petering around the idea of medication for your mood disorders… Maybe it’s time for us to talk about that again.”
I had told her how bad my anxiety has been for the past few weeks that I think is just the result of school deadlines. And she said that she wouldn’t be so concerned if I wasn’t so prone to anxiety already as it is and the fact that I keep getting into these anxious situations that I can’t get out of has her convinced that I need another tool to help me cope with the problem.
She also suggested a different ADHD medication that both helps with the ADHD and also relieves anxiety. We discussed both options (of switching my ADHD medication and taking both Ritalin and an anti anxiety medication) and I finally relented. So now, I’m going to try Ritalin and an anti anxiety medication that I can’t remember the name of for a month to see how it helps me.
The good thing is that the anti anxiety medication doesn’t have to be taken daily and can be taken as needed, which was what I wanted. The only downside to that is the drug takes 30 minutes to work which means that I’d have to know when I’ll have an anxiety attack in order for it to work. If I knew when I’d have anxiety, I wouldn’t have anxiety, would I?
The positive thing is though, Dr W isn’t just a drug pusher because she recognizes that therapy is a better way to alleviate mental disorders but that medication is a tool that can be used to help therapy.
So, we’ll see how things go. I ended up being honest with Dr W with how I’ve been feeling and perhaps the medication will help me. We’ll see.