I can’t believe how many days it’s been since my last post. I am really unable to keep up with the demands of my school and work life this semester. Between juggling 32 hours of work (2 jobs!), my 14-credit hours of school work (including a very demanding Professor whose keeps giving us assignments to finish every 2 days or so) plus countless hours spent on assignments and homework, an online class that I can’t keep up with because I not only don’t have the attention span to sit through an entire module but the lack of face-to-face communication is difficult for me, training to be a Peer Educator (which I am severely under-performing in for my standards because I’m just too busy), helping my leadership committee for the club I helped found, private tutoring once a week and working out, I have little time for anything else.
My step-father-in-law told me that he doesn’t know where I get the energy to do everything I just listed. To be honest, I don’t know either. I think it is the mix of the restless ADHD energy as well as Ritalin – I mean, passion. Ha… I’ve been staying up a lot during school days too because if I don’t get all my thoughts out and finish my assignments quickly after I get them, I forget that I even had assignments to do.
My ADHD has been a double edged sword for me this semester – it’s both helping and hindering me (as it always does, actually). I’ve been motivated to work due to my restlessness but at the same time, a lot of the things I’m learning aren’t really processing – I am not sure if it’s just because of the lack of focus I’ve been having or whether I’m just exhausted. I can ask someone a question and 2 seconds into their explanation, I have quit listening. I’m not sure how to overcome this at this time. The fact that I haven’t been to therapy for 2 weeks now isn’t helping matters because I now realize that S keeps me on track with my thoughts. I can’t wait to see him next Wednesday – it’ll be about time, that’s for sure!
Despite the struggles, I am actually enjoying myself. I may sound like I’m complaining but I’m really not. I’ve realized how fortunate I am to have a great support system now and how much they’re helping me through things. I love that despite our own struggles, when we get together, we’re always able to help each other through the difficulties. I have less of a good time when Thursday swings around because it means I go back to my serving job but this makes me appreciate my Monday-Wednesday in school more so I’m always thankful for the shift in perspective.
Anyway, I hope that I’ll be able to write something more thoughtful and substantial soon but I really don’t think that it’ll happen very soon. School life hasn’t stabilized yet for me and until it does, it’s hard for me to find time to do anything else – unfortunately, blogging is on the back burner for now.