I just cut myself.
The emotional anguish I feel is so great that nothing I did or thought about helped.
I was near tears at every moment and indeed cried multiple times today. The Ex treated me to frozen yogurt and that calmed the child down for a little while but the rage, hopelessness, and despair came rushing back regardless.
I kept asking the child what was wrong. I kept trying to figure out what it was that was bothering me so that I could overcome it but I had no answers.
So now I have two cuts on my arm because I needed to vent.
I didn’t even go to group therapy today because I didn’t think I could be of any use to the group in my current mental state. I feel really bad about that too.
I feel so mentally ill. I can’t explain it.
I just want to die.