New Year

So it’s Day 5 into the new year – technically, as I type this it’s Day 6 but since I  don’t count a day as ending until I turn in to bed, it’s still Day 5 for me – and I’m happy to say that I’ve had an eventful holiday/semester break. Ever since Christmas at […]

Positive and Productive

I’ve been having some major financial difficulties following the divorce (because I have a lot of credit card debt plus having to pay for a car as well as for rent), and as a result, I am technically working 3 jobs. That leads to my inability to focus in school because I’m staying up late […]

Quick Post Therapy Session Update 

I will post more when I’m more awake but I just wanted to say that I had a decent session with S today – one that ended with him being pleased that I surrendered the paracord bracelet that I was going to use to hang myself with on Monday, and that I asked him to […]

Why I Don’t Want Happiness

Is it crazy for me to say that I don’t want to be happy? To me, happiness is a vanilla. So bland. So boring. So… Fleeting. The opposite of depression is not happiness. It’s vitality. I want something more than happiness. I want inner peace. I want to be able to wake up every day […]

Just What I Needed

It comes as no surprise that this week has been very difficult. I don’t think it’ll ease up until next Friday when my finals will be over. However, that said, I did receive a very heart warming message from a friend whom I really count as one of my closest friends now and whom I […]

Setting A High Bar

I learned today while in the shower that I am only as weak as I set my bar to. If I raise my bar and strive to reach for it, then I’m only limited by how high that bar is. The reason I thought of that was because I was thinking about how I could’ve […]