Still Alive

Anyone who follows my Facebook, my blog, or knows me personally knows that I’ve been through a hellish year with processing the traumas of my life, processing a painful and messy divorce, battling suicidal thoughts and intents, battling self harming tendencies, processing my sexual orientation and what it means to be Christian despite it, dealing […]

Strange Social Behavior

I’m drained. Burnt out. Stressed out. I’m all kinds of not-doing-well, I guess. I flip-flop between being okay, and not okay throughout the day and some of the time, just feeling nothing at all. I’m a little nervous about seeing S this week – not only because it’s a change in routine (he had something […]

People Care

“I want to die” 4 words I posted on Facebook that gained almost immediate attention from one of my coworkers and an old friend whom I’ve not seen in 5 years. It was touching. In that moment when I posted it, I had meant it. I did want to die. I was overwhelmed and exhausted. […]

Reflections From Today

So I saw Dr W today, my psychiatrist. I told her how I don’t like being on Strattera and how tired it makes me feel. I also told her that it’s not working all that well anymore because I haven’t been able to focus or concentrate on anything lately. She asked me about my stressors […]

Pretension and Denial

I think I’m kidding myself and I’m pretending when I’m in front of everyone else. I don’t think I’m as well as I want to feel and just because I’m not thinking of something, doesn’t mean it’s not in my mind. I’m trying to be patient and when in times of loneliness, I’ve sought out […]

Emergency Session With S

I practically made S run out of his office to meet me today. I feel embarrassed to say that I not only had a walk-in session today before my group therapy session, but that I also had group therapy, AND I also requested to see S.