Pain of Regrets

I can’t stop crying. Every time I think about this one significant person in my life, I bawl. I cried for hours yesterday and cried even as I drove to and from work. There are so many regrets in my heart. So much pain. I can’t bear this burden by myself but I have to. […]

A Life Saved

I would’ve died if not for S. I know that statement is dramatic but I am person who quite enjoys adding dramatic flair to the things I say. In any case, dramatic or not, it’s the truth. I’ve been struggling really badly as I’ve mentioned in my previous post so I came up with a […]

When I Stood On The Top Floor Of The Parking Garage

After the incredible session with S on Monday, I had one that I felt really unsatisfied with on Wednesday. I was unsatisfied because I was in a confused state of mind so for the first half an hour, we talked about something that I didn’t feel was very important and didn’t hit the points that […]

A Struggle Of Identity

As many of you who have been reading my blog for the past 4 months or so know… I’ve been struggling terribly this semester. The semester ended last Friday and I’m still struggling – now this time, more fully with my own emotional turmoil and mental issues since school’s finally out. Note: This will be […]

I Had A Plan

I woke up this morning with a semblance of a plan. It wasn’t a good plan – not the kind where you plan for a holiday/vacation. Not the kind where you plan to conquer the day. It wasn’t the kind where you were hopeful and happy. Not at all. Far from it. I woke up […]

Tired of Not Being OK

It has been a difficult day. I’ve been struggling with my program all day and I don’t even know what it is that I’m really struggling with. I just know that I know what I want to create but I don’t know how to go about it. My Computing Professor told us before that when […]

Lowest Point

Well tonight I hit my lowest point. I don’t remember a time worse than this or a time where I had actually contemplated writing a note. Perhaps it’s time for me to answer my BHM (Behavioral Health Measure) questionnaire with a “Moderate” risk under the “How high is your risk of suicide?” section. I’ve always […]