I hate my ex. When I think about all the good times we had, I feel so guilty for all that I feel – that I had once loved him, and that I now hate him. I hate that I had ever loved him. I think I was in love with the idea of him. […]
I am happy today. I am so happy that my anxiety, and depression are temporarily gone from my awareness. It’s different. Something else is different too. For the first time in my life, I am not afraid to say that I am proud of the fact that I am happy. I don’t have to make excuses […]
So my weekend has been a mix of good and bad – a lot of it was pretty bad in multiple ways.
S and I talked about what I did on Saturday at the event. I was filled with trepidation as I recounted what I did (for context, read this: Strange Social Behavior). I was nervous because I was afraid that I’ll lose S; that he’ll be afraid of me and pull away. I didn’t want him […]
I have a post that I wrote last week that hasn’t been published because it’s only halfway done. It’s probably the only hopeful post I have because since then, my life has taken a turn downwards. At this time, things are looking bleak for me and its hard for me to not wallow in the […]
I’ve stopped making New Year’s Resolutions years ago because I realized that if I want to change something about my life, I shouldn’t have to wait until the new year to do so. So now, whenever I’m unhappy with something and I make the decision to change, I change it then and there. What I […]
What do you do when all you are feeling is hopelessness? How do you cope when you feel like you can’t talk to anyone – either because you don’t want them to worry or because you feel that no one understands or because you feel bad that all you talk about with people are negative […]
Painting is an exercise in letting go for me. It’s teaching me that it’s ok to let go and that when I let go, I just need to go with the flow and deal with the consequences as they come. I was painting my “warm colors” composition when I went a little over zealous with […]
Depression really weeds out your friends and halfway through your depressive episode, you will realize that only the people who really care are left from the group of people you thought were friends. And from that small handful of individuals, only one or two, if you’re truly lucky, will care enough to endure your constant […]
Hitting Reset 